The heart of my approach

In reflecting on my goals as a parent, i have decided that apart from ultimately raising someone who loves and lives for Jesus, my goal is to raise them so that they are self controlled and to become independent of me. I are preparing him to be able to leave me someday and take care of himself and others.

Some parents out there seem to want their children to be very dependent on them. They don't want to let go and allow the child to grow up and function on his own. It is understandable in some respects. They love their child unconditionally and have sacrificed so much to care from them. However I think if you allow your child to grow up and move on, he will happily come around to visit more often, whereas if you cling to your child and mourn his every milestone, he will likely try to develop some space between the two of you so he can move on in his life.

This is one thing that really attracted me to Babywise in the first place. Babywise is about giving your child the tools to survive without you. The -wise books help you teach your child how to think for himself and how to make moral decisions. It helps you raise your child to be a functioning member of society who can contribute positively to the state of the world. It isn't about fulfilling your own desires for feeling needed. It isn't about indulging your child's every whim. It isn't about giving him an easy childhood free of difficulty or disappointment. It isn't about just having a routine that suits me.

I will God willing have Jamison under my roof for 18-20 years. He has a long life to live beyond that. I want to be sure that as I parent him, I am looking beyond today to help him learn skills for tomorrow. Keeping that long-term perspective.