Wow, how time flies - 14 months already!

With 14 months has come walking, discovery and a whole realm of new challenges, mainly to do with managing no impulse control and encouraging obedience and self control! I have done my usual routine of freaking out and reading everything in sight to search for answers and now thought to get back to regularly blogging what i read that actually rings true in light of scripture so that i can read it again and again when i am tired, unsure and frustrated!

Mel Hayde's books, Terrific Toddler and Terrific Toddlers 2 have been so helpful.

Obedience
"Establishing our parental authority also involves training our children to obey us. Basically it will require abundant praise for compliance and a firm consequence for noncompliance...

Training is progressive.

You cannot expect obedience without first instructing your child in how to obey. This can and should be achieved in a gentle and loving manner.

... will unavoidably involve some conflict because our children desire to be self-governing and self-pleasing.

You must be consistent.

you must be able to follow through. if you are not able to follow through, then do not give an instruction in the first place. Ask yourself "Do I have the time right now to deal with a 'no' response?"

At first, be close to your child, not the other side of the room and simply call his name. When he has come to you, and you have full eye contact give a very short instruction. Use a firm, quiet voice and expect him to say "yes Mum" and obey.

give verbal praise. If he choose not to obey then say "oh no, that's a bad choice" (or similar) and walk your child through the required response with lots of verbal praise and affirmation.

As much as you can during these early training days try to base your instructions around activities your toddler enjoys. ... repeat this process maybe only a few times during the day at times when your toddler is fairly content.

By limiting the number of times you are expecting obedience you should experience a high success rate.

After you have consistently walked your child through this process for a short time (few days or a week) you can then apply a firm, immediate consequence for non-compliance.

reserve strongest consequences for disobedience and safety issues only. for all other behaviour use logical consequences.

During this time, treat the rest of the day when not training by simply taking your child where they need to be rather than asking for obedience. this will greatly reduce frustration."