Consistency: Creating a schedule

Many Babywise moms find themselves in a schedule where the baby gets up about the same time every day, and they follow the eat/play/sleep pattern, but the times of each nap and each feeding every day vary considerably. I know this has been the pattern of my life for the last few months, as routines have changed over and over, be it from growth spurts, immunizations or my uncertainty of what to do. If asked, "What time does baby take a nap in the afternoon?", I would often respond, "well, it depends on what time he eats in the morning and how long his morning nap was..."

I remember when Jamison was 2 months old and his parents wanted to visit after work at a time when Jamison was awake. I knew that I could say roughly what time I anticipated him to be up, but by the end of the day, so many variables would have come into play, that my times might be totally off! Naptime varied from day to day. It depended on how long his earlier naps lasted and how long he stayed awake. In retrospect, I was on a "pattern" rather than a "schedule."

As he has got older and I have more experience under my belt, I am finding that there is a more predictable routine to where he ate, slept, and played in the same hours every day (minus your typical disruptions). So how do you get there? How do you set a schedule? Here are some hints.


* Pick your first waketime of the day. Depending on your baby, there may need to be some compromise between you two. Some babies are early risers, so mom is going to have to go with that. Others will sleep in a bit and you can choose the waketime better. Jamison has always been an early riser, so 6.30 has been our start time. I have found this helpful as it suits our family, as my husband rises early for work and I might as well get up! It also suits us for heading out mid morning if we need to. Your waketime is up to you (and baby). There is no right or wrong time. Keep in mind the number of feedings you want to get in and the bedtime you want so you can get the necessary feedings in before bedtime.
* Pick your bedtime. Bedtime should fall naturally based on your schedule. Bedtime should be 10-12 hours before waketime. Jamison's bedtime is 6:30 at the moment. Some times this is flexible, depending on his need for earlier feeds on some occasions in the afternoon.
* Once you have those two things picked out, stay consistent. I set my alarm so I can get baby up on time. I try to be home in time in the evening to get baby down for bedtime. Remember, your schedule serves you, but it won't serve you if you completely ignore it--it will have nothing to serve! Sure, you can have days when you sleep in. You can have nights you all go to a friend's house and get home a little late. Just keep these as the exceptions rather than the rule. In comparison to your lifetime, your children are not young for very long. I find that there are ways of keeping to routine as much as possible while out and about - I always pop Jamison down to sleep at the same bed time in the porta cot when out.
* Next, pick your feeding times. This decision might vary from your original goal after some evaluation. When Jamison was first born, I did a 3 hour routine that he slotted into beautifully. I started him at 7 AM. My original goal was a 7:00 feeding, a 10:00 feeding, and a 1:00 feeding. At first, it worked great. After a few weeks, however, he started to need to eat early sometimes in the morning. I was confused about whether to go with the pattern of when my baby was most hungry or to stick to the clock. But parent directed feeding calls for judgement in light of both. If he was hungry - i would feed him! Simple. However, his feeding did seem to slot into the 3 hours as we continued to do it. Flexiblity is important I have found, learning to not be ruled by the clock.
* Watch waketime length. This will depend on your child. Each child is different. I only have to talk to my friends with little ones to realise this! Sometimes different times of day will have different waketimes by a bit, and that is okay. Wake time will gradually increase as bub gets older. I increase wake times by 5 minutes bit by bit, as I notice that he is not as tired when nap time comes.
* Next, figure out naptimes. By this I mean the time baby will go down for a nap. This will be dependent on a couple of things. One is how long baby can successfully stay awake. This means happily. It also means baby goes down for a nap and the crying (or lack thereof) is consistent and naptime length is appropriate. Another thing it is dependent on is the amount of time before the next feeding. Depending on your schedule, baby will sleep anywhere from 1-2.5 hours. I have found that there is a delicate balance of when to put bub down so that he is tired enough, but not too tired. Too early or too late usually results in lots more crying!
* Finally, and again, stay consistent. Remember that it is dynamic and will change as your baby gets older. Whatever schedule you are on, stay consistent. If you eat at the same time every day, you get hungry at the same time every day. If you go to bed at the same time every night, you get tired then. If you wake up at the same time every morning, your body does so without an alarm clock. Consistency pays off. You want to go by the time on clock as well as the hours that have past. If baby slept in that morning and ate a little later, work to get on the normal schedule by afternoon. Of course, we always are flexible and adjust the schedule as necessary when baby is in a growth spurt or is otherwise hungry.

Can you be a mum who says, "My baby naps at 1:00" with confidence and honesty? Yes! It will take time and consistency. I would commit to staying home for a week or two and really nailing the schedule down. You don't have to completely shut yourself in, but try to stay in and keep in mind you are helping baby get stabilized. I had to do this with Jamison around the 2 month mark, has he had become very unsettled. A strict 3 hour routine for 5 days was hard at first, but really settled him down and he has responded well ever since. It also helped with the unsettled 45 minute naps!!